The Notebook
by ItsLily2U
Summary: Lily Evans realizes just how much she really does like James Potter- the one person she swore to never have anything to do with. When she finally accepts him and gives him a chance, what will happen? Love, tears, smiles- all those fuzzy things- set in 7th
1. 1 Dear James

Saturday, October 7th

Dear James,

I don't really know if you'll ever read this or not, but… Today, I realized for the first time how much I like you. I don't know how I never saw it before… I guess it's because you've always been very persistent about driving me mad and pulling pranks on me. Why do you do that? Is it for attention, maybe? Because if you are worried that I don't notice you, you're wrong… I think about you a lot.

Especially at night, just before I fall asleep. Is that why I dream about you so often? I had a dream just two days ago. Does that mean I've liked you a long time? I don't really know…

In fact, you asked me just yesterday if I'd go to Hogsmeade next week with you… I'm sorry I said no. I didn't even stop to think about it, did I? I'm just so used to telling you no, maybe that's why I do. It's not that I don't like you, because I really do.

A few weeks ago, I overheard someone saying something about the two of us getting together and I tried to act mad, when really, I sort of liked the idea… Since then, every time anything is said about us, I get embarrassed and blush. This morning when you came down to breakfast, I saw another girl go up and talk to you… Let's just say I didn't like it in the least. I watched you with her for a few minutes, not knowing that the entire time my friends were talking to me until Emily said, "You could take her, Lily… and if you can't, I'll be right there." When I looked at her, they were all grinning at me… I don't know how or why, but it was then that I realized just how much I like you. Why did it take me so long?

I'm sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room right now, in my favorite chair- you know, the one that no one else will sit in just because they know it's mine. You walked up to me, grinning in that charming way only you can, and tried to read what I'm writing. I think you'll read this someday, just be patient.

Since I won't let you read, you just slide into the armchair next to mine. Your hair is really messy, as it always is, and you keep running your hand through it. Merlin, I love it when you do that. I know I'm always yelling at you to stop, but please don't. You wouldn't be you if you didn't mess up your hair.

You're still staring at me, with those beautiful hazel eyes of yours. And it's only making me wish more than ever that I could tell you everything I think about you, but I can't.

Not that I don't want to, because really, I do. Its just that... Sometimes I wonder if you only ask me out because I'm the one girl who won't go with you, or because you're so used to asking… or it's a joke… or you've got a bet with one of the other Marauders… or that you- Okay, I know, I need to stop now.

I just looked up and you are talking to a girl that walked up to you. Oh…She's sitting on the arm of your chair. Her name is Ashley and she's a sixth year. I've talked to her a few times, but I never really liked her much, and I especially don't now.

I don't want you to think I'm horribly possessive, because I'm not, or that I expect you'll wait for me forever, because I don't. You don't even know that I like you yet. I only hope you don't hate me for constantly refusing you. don't think I get jealous over a lot of things, either... I usually don't.

I just didn't want to see you with her… You can do so much better.

So I left Gryffindor Tower to go up to my room. The one that is right next to yours, along with our Common Room and our bathroom. I'm so glad that we are this year's Heads. I love how hard you try to do everything right. I can always tell when you're concentrating really hard; you frown a tiny bit and bite your bottom lip... I've noted a lot of your little habits like that lately.

Tomorrow morning I know you're going to get up early because of your Quidditch game and I'm positive you're going to be wonderful. You always are, you know.

Much as I hate to, I'm going to go to bed now. But don't worry, I'll leave my door open just a bit, so that I can hear your quiet snores when you go up to bed, as I know you are going to do sometime soon.

Good night James,

Lily

* * *

Friday, October 13th

Dear James,

I woke up this morning not feeling very well… I was tired because I stayed up last night trying to finish homework. I woke up late so I didn't have much time to fix my hair or anything, and by the time I got downstairs for breakfast, there weren't any seats by my friends, and there was absolutely no bacon left. I _have _to have bacon in the morning- I look forward to it from the second I wake up.

I was late to Divination, and I was assigned extra History of Magic homework. Then, at lunch, I remembered I hadn't practiced that new spell for Transfiguration. Arithmancy was all right, but none of my work was up to my usual standard.

Out of all this, you'd think I would have been positively exhausted and snappy by dinner, wouldn't you? But I wasn't…

Why?

Because this morning, you told me you liked my _hair_, of all things. Even though it looked seriously neglected. I guess I just needed the compliment… But I wanted to thank you, even though I already did. You don't know how that simple little sentence changed my day. So thanks.

It didn't even bother me after you left when Sirius said it was 'all a matter of opinion.'

I can hear you singing from the bathroom. I can't tell what song it is, but I think its kind of cute that you like to sing in the shower… I do all the time.

Right, well, I'd better go finish my extra homework so that I don't have another day like today… Hope you have sweet dreams tonight. I know I will, because I'll be dreaming of you.

Always,

Lily

* * *

Tuesday, October 17th

Good morning, James!

Today we are going to meet for a Head meeting and I can't wait. At dinner, Professor Dumbledore is going to announce the Halloween Ball… We've been planning it for weeks now... I wonder why he decided to wait until we only have two weeks left until Halloween to tell the school? Don't worry, though. Our ball is going to be wonderful.

This morning, you woke up earlier than you usually do… I think you're still very excited about winning the Ravenclaw game last Saturday. I told you you'd do well... You scored most of the points… I was watching you the entire time like I said I would.

The sun hadn't even risen yet when you woke up, but I still beat you to it. I was in our Common Room, reading a book when I heard you get up.

I heard you in your room for a few minutes before you drug in here. Your hair was everywhere, your glasses were sideways, your eyes were only half-open. You walked in, and I had to try my hardest not to laugh when you saw me. Your eyes flew open, and you grinned.

Of course you wanted to know what I was writing, but I couldn't tell you. I did tell you that you'd know someday. I hadn't even really meant to, but it made you smile in a curious way, so that's okay. Your smile brightens my day.

Even if you told me how weird I was right after that.

You just left to do something or another, but that's all right. It's leaving me the time to write to you in here. But I think I'll go wake Emily now. She won't get up in time for classes, if I don't.

After that, we'll go down to breakfast, which is good, because I'm very hungry as it is.

Then we all have History of Magic and Divination.

It's going to be a very long day… But we still have our meeting to look forward to!

Yours truly,

Lily

* * *

Wednesday, October 25th

Dear James,

Do you know what happened today? Well, of course you do! Just humour me. You asked me to the Halloween Ball… Can you imagine my answer?

I was a little nervous when you asked me… Well, maybe it was a lot… Okay, I was _positively _terrified… You had this determined look on your face, like you were going to keep asking me until I said yes… Then you looked quite taken aback when I smiled up at you and said, 'Sure… I'd love to.' Then you looked confused… Then happy. I don't think I've ever seen you grin so much. I thought I liked it before, now I _know _I do. I wish you could have seen the look on your face… I'll never forget it.

It was breakfast when you asked, so naturally, the entire hall buzzed for minutes after I said yes. Everyone was surprised… Especially when I came and sat with you and your friends after you asked me.

Classes weren't much fun, but every now and then, I caught you staring at me, and instead of taking away points, or something stupid, I smiled back. Every time I saw you staring, my cheeks got hot… and every time, they grew hotter, and hotter, until I'm sure they were crimson.

At lunch, everyone stared again when I took the seat next to you, but I hardly paid attention. You positively glowed with pride the entire time. Though at first, I think you were a bit shocked that I'd accepted. I hope you were glad, though.

The moon is getting bigger. It looks beautiful outside my window… It's floating above the Hogwarts grounds, with an odd mist hanging around it.

As we are the Head Boy and Girl, we're going to have to start working like mad on the Halloween Ball. We did have to fight hard to talk Professor Dumbledore into letting us have one this year, didn't we? We're allowed to get out of lessons next Tuesday, so we can decorate and put the finishing touches on everything… Then we get the entire night together. This weekend is the Hogsmeade trip. I've already got the perfect outfit picked out for the ball- I'm going to buy it Saturday in Hogsmeade, so that I can look my best for you.

I really am glad you asked me.

Lily

* * *

Tuesday, October 31st

Dear James,

Well… Today is the big day! I can't wait to see everyone's faces when they see how we did the decorations… And I really can't wait to go with you.

We get to open the ball and start the first dance after dinner… Won't it be fun? I had a lot of fun today working on the ball with you. I'm glad Dumbledore offered us the extra time.

I'm sitting on my four-poster right now, wearing my dress for the ball. I'm glad we chose for everyone to wear costumes. I think you'll like mine. Do you remember those muggle plays we studied for a week at the beginning of this year? I'm one from one of them… Only you'll have to guess which I am when I see you. I remember you were the one who had to give a speech on this particular Shakespeare play… So I chose a character from it. It also happens to be my favourite play ever.

My dress is white, and flowing, with a medieval type bodice. The neckline is square-cut… The sleeves are navy-blue velvet, fitted at the top, and curve out at the bottom… my hair is curly, but not because I wanted it to be… I tried to get it straight, but I don't suppose that many people will notice, will they? It's up in a graceful bun, and I have white flowers tucked into parts of it.

I can't wait to see your costume… I bet you'll look even more handsome than ever.

I can hear you calling me right now… You're ready to go down to the Hall. We are supposed to be there a bit ahead of everyone, anyway.

I just want to say that I'm really looking forward to spending the evening with you… Our first _real _date. Isn't that exciting?

I promise I'll write more soon but for now, I have to go to you.

Always,

Your Lily

* * *

Wednesday, November 1st

Dear James,

Oh, wasn't the ball beautiful? The decorations were a knock-out with the bats and the pumpkins… And the food was excellent. The dancing was fun, and the music was great, but to me, the best part was _you_.

I got back to my room last night and I couldn't sleep… I was so excited. The way you held me when we danced… It was so… so… _right_. I just felt like _me _in your arms… Like I've always belonged there and I always will. I can't really explain it... I just felt like the most important person in the entire world from the way you danced with me. I never knew that was possible…

Some of the songs we didn't like, so we sat down with our friends, who had a table together, and we talked the whole time. That was fun, wasn't it? I'm not sure what I like more- talking to you, and hearing you laugh, or dancing with you. I guess that as long as you're there, I'll have a good time.

But after the ball… I think that was my favourite part of the entire night. We walked up to the Head Common Room and we held hands the entire way… When we got up here, we just stared at each other, remember? Isn't it funny how a minute can seem like eternity? Well, that minute was the longest I've ever felt. But then, you started to lean down… And we kissed. You're a good kisser, too! Okay, look… I know this is kind of weird for someone my age… But I've never kissed anybody! You were my first… But I'm glad you were. I'll always remember because of that. Of course, I'll always remember it anyway, just because it was you, but it will just be extra special.

I was really surprised when I saw your costume. You chose a character form one of Shakespeare's plays, too! Isn't it funny how we did that?

But… Why did Remus leave so early? He left in the middle of the ball, he didn't even dance with anyone! I hope he's okay.

I started hearing your calm breathing long ago, so it must be getting late… I'll write more later…

Yours truly,

Lily Elizabeth Evans

* * *

Thursday, November 16th

Dear James,

Filch almost caught us out of bounds tonight… After hours. I've never been anywhere I wasn't supposed to be, either. Honestly… I was terrified. Or I would have been if you hadn't been there.

We went up to the Astronomy Tower… just to look at the stars, honestly! I doubt Filch would have believed that… But whatever- (Isn't that the best expression? I heard it from my American cousin this past holiday… they say it all the time over there.) I told you how pretty I thought the snow was and you said you could take me up to the tower… It was so beautiful up there, you know, the way the snow was falling… We were so close to kissing, when we heard a meowing around our feet. Mrs. Norris.

Do you have any idea how much I hate that bloody cat?!

Well, we ran… but Filch was close by- we could hear him muttering to his filthy cat… He almost caught us, too…

We made it all the way back up to our tower and had already collapsed onto the couch when I remembered something.

We're Head Boy and Girl. We could have just been patrolling.

We laughed a long time over that… And that's where we are now, curled up on the couch… You fell asleep about half an hour ago, and for a while now, I've been watching you. You smile when you're sleeping, did you know that? And every so often, you sigh contentedly. I love to watch you sleep…

All right, well… I think I'd better go to sleep, too, or I won't be able to get ready for Divination tomorrow. Hmm… Then again… Missing Divination wouldn't be so bad, would it? Too bad I'm Head Girl.

Night, Dearest…

Lily

* * *

Saturday, November 25th

Dear James,

I think I fell in love you today.

I woke up with a rose on my pillow… I wonder who put it there? You did! I know it was you, because today is our one month anniversary. I'm so glad you remembered! Can you believe it's only been one month since you asked me to the ball? I suppose time flies by when you're in love.

Today, we went for a walk around the lake and you were just so sweet. You make me feel so important when I'm with you… I don't know how you do it. If only I knew that you loved me as much as I love you, I'd give you this book… I plan on doing it soon. Maybe I'll give it to you for Christmas?

After our walk, you took me down to the kitchens… I think you were a bit disappointed that I'd been there before. I'm sorry. I used the kitchens a lot back in 5th year, with all our O.W.L's. I imagine this year it's going to be the same. I'm not really looking forward to the N.E.W.T's.

Anyway, we went up to our Common Room and spent part of the afternoon there. I love being with you. I love everything about you... _I love you._

You had Quidditch practice earlier and you just got back. We're sitting in the Common Room again, doing a couple essays. Well, you're doing essays. I'm writing to you… I like that much better, anyway.

You look exhausted and I don't blame you. You were out at the pitch for at least three hours and it looks like it may start snowing any minute now.

Do you remember the day we met? It was the first time either of us had been on the Hogwarts Express. Were you afraid of everyone as I was? I doubt you were, you acted so calm that day… I remember I was shaking when I first walked into the station. I'd only found out about wizards and spells and broomsticks a month before, you know… I was getting very anxious because I didn't know how to get onto the platform... Then I saw that you had an owl and a trunk just like mine! Remember how I asked you and your parents to help me? I was so nervous.

Once we were on the platform, we got separated in the crowd… But just when I was close to tears, you came along and helped me. I couldn't carry my trunk onto the train… So you did for me. You were my knight in shining armour (Or the pair of jeans, and the t-shirt you were wearing). We took seats in the same compartment… then Sirius came along.

I was furious with him right off. I don't even remember what for... I think he called me 'Red' or something. I stormed out of that compartment so fast, I don't even think you saw me leave. That's when I met my best friend Emily.

I'll never forget that day. I can't remember if I ever told you thanks for helping me with my trunk, though… So just in case I didn't… Thank you. I'm sure I would've been hysterical before I got even halfway onto the train if you hadn't helped me.

You just knocked your book off the table… You're asleep, arms folded on the table, resting your head on them. You're facing me, though, and you're smiling.

I'm going to go put away your books and take off your glasses so you can sleep. I'll go get us a blanket, then sleep right here next to you so you won't be alone...

With love,

Your Lily

P.S. I wanted to tell you I think I will give you this book on Christmas for your present… I'm almost out of pages… But I'm not sure if that's because I write big or if it's that there aren't many pages. Maybe both? Well, only one month left…

* * *

Tuesday, December 19th

Dear James,

Today after I tutored those fifth years in Charms, I went back to Gryffindor Tower, expecting to find you with the other Marauders… I did find you, but you weren't with your friends. You were sitting on a couch off to the side, talking to a little girl in first year, Kambrie Alex… She was crying because she was here by herself for the holidays and was lonely. You'd found her in the corridor earlier and were still comforting her when I found the two of you. You looked so sweet, holding her, letting her cry into your shoulder. I watched you there for at least ten minutes until someone came along and told me I was blocking the portrait hole.

Well, I think I should go now, the two of us just got back from Gryffindor Tower. Kambrie asked us to stay with her until she fell asleep, and we're going to get up early so we can check on her.

Goodnight, love…

Your "Lily-flower"

P.S. I love the nickname you made for me, too…

* * *

Sunday, December 24th

My dearest James…

Christmas is almost here, isn't it? I'm giving this to you in the morning and to be quite honest, I'm a bit afraid… What if you don't like it? I hope you do, but I have you another present just in case you don't… I've changed my mind at least a dozen times as to whether or not I should give it to you… But I know I'm going to. In the morning I think I'll write one last thing to you then send it over with an owl before the sun rises…

I hope it snows tomorrow, so we can go out in it. We haven't gotten to all year and as it's Christmas, it would be the perfect time for snow, don't you think?

My parents were a bit disappointed that I didn't want to come home for the holidays this year, but I told them I couldn't leave Hogwarts this year… That I had to stay and I'm glad I did, really.

I can hardly write because I'm shaking so badly… I'm a bit nervous about giving this to you. I'm still worried you won't like it… I think I've been pretty good about writing in it… I've already had to add the pages like I said I would.

Well, even though I'm too excited to sleep right now, I think I'll go. I need to save the last page for tomorrow morning, anyway, don't I? So I'll say goodnight to you, love…

Lily

* * *

Monday, December 25th

Happy Christmas, James!

Well, the day is here, whether I'm ready to give you the book or not! But I'm in such a good mood right now, I've assured myself you'll like knowing my thoughts… Or at least, I hope so.

Even though it's early, I can hear you yawning… I had planned on sending this to you very early, but now, I think I'll just wrap it and take it to you before you're all the way awake… I don't really want to get out; I'm tucked deep into my covers to keep away from the cold, but I think I'll do it, just for you, as soon as I'm done.

I only want to say one more thing… Every time you see this little black book, think of me… Because I'm always thinking of you.

Now I'd better go before I change my mind again and stay in these warm covers all day… Happy Christmas!

Loving you always,

Lily Elizabeth Evans

* * *


	2. 2 Chapter Two

The Notebook

**A/N: Hey, everyone! I'm sorry it's been like five months. I really did mean to update sooner- I've had this written for... two months, now. My computer broke down a few weeks ago, and my brother had to come down to fix it. It took ages. Anyway, I guess I won't keep you from reading- or reviewing! Reviews are nice. They make you feel all warm n fuzzy inside! Kay, well, thanks to all for reading! -Lil**

**Oh- I'm sorry about all the weird spaces and funky markings on here- if there are any left. I had to go through the entire thing three times, taking out weird stuff... :)**

* * *

Chapter Two 

"Hey, Lil. Have you seen Remus?"

"Oh, all the sixth and seventh year Gryffindor boys are out playing Quidditch."

"Weird, isn't it? Guess Dumbledore just felt like letting us out of school for a day. He's off his rocker, he is." Emma said with a laugh.

I smiled and tossed my letter from my sister carelessly away.

"What's that?"

"Just a letter from Pet."

"Bet that's good news." Emma said. I looked up at her and nodded sarcastically.

"Aren't all her letters?" I muttered.

"Well, they- _is that James?" _she asked incredulously, staring out my bedroom window.

Worrying about her sanity, I slowly turned in my chair to see what she was goggling at… Sure enough, James Potter was grinning mischievously at me from my window… Even though my room was up in one of the highest towers that year…

I laughed in surprise and pushed the casement open. Leaning over my desk, I grinned disbelievingly at him. "What are you doing?" I asked, with amusement.

James's grin widened. "Come with me."

"What do you-" I stopped, eyeing his broom suspiciously. "But-"

"_Please_?" he pouted, putting out his bottom lip.

"I..." I'd only ever been on one broom- and only because we had to learn how to ride one in first year... I don't think I'd even touched a broomstick since.

"I won't let you fall, Lily."

I opened my mouth to protest, but couldn't. I could only curse James and his puppy-dog-eyes. I found it almost impossible to resist him when he made that face.

"And you won't go too high?" I asked anxiously. He shook his head, and held out his arm.

"I won't- come on! It'll be loads of fun- I've been riding brooms since I can remember, Lil... I'll be careful!"

I shot a nervous glance back at Emma, who smiled at me. I turned helplessly back to James and grinned uncertainly. "All right..." I took his offered hand and scrambled up onto my desk, then out the window. James helped me onto the broom, in front of him, wrapping one arm around me. "Okay- I'm already scared..." I muttered, my eyes tightly shut. James chuckled and put his warm hand over mine.

"I love you, Lil."

Carefully, I leaned back into him, looking up into his eyes. "I love you, too."

He looked at me in disbelief... Okay, so maybe not disbelief, really, but shock. I've never said it to him, I know... But I mean it.

"You mean that." He said quietly. Sometimes I got the impression he could read my mind... Heck, I loved him even more for it.

I nodded. "I mean it."

I twist around the best I can and kiss him tenderly on the lips, wishing this moment could last forever...

Even if it meant I would have to get over my fear of heights.

* * *

Two weeks later, on our sixth month anniversary, James told me he had something exciting planned- and I, thinking he was going to lead me to a secret dragon, or a sleeping troll at the least, was a bit reluctant to follow him. He could only tell me I should trust him more. 

"Where does this tunnel lead to again?" I whispered anxiously, trying to ignore the creepy feeling I got from the loudly dripping ceiling. Stumbling slightly on a rock, I pulled back on James's hand, causing us both to stop.

"You'll see," he said mysteriously, grinning at me over his shoulder. "What, don't you trust me?"

"No, I trust you, it's just that-"

"All right then!" He winked impishly and pulled me forward (somewhat reluctantly on my part...) again. "Not much farther, anyway... Ah- here it is!" He gestured toward a dark set of stone stairs that lead up- and out of sight.

It took us nearly five minutes to climb all the way up to the top, where James pointed to a tiny sliver of faint light directly above our heads. "Here we are..." He let go of my hand and pushed up on the ceiling near the crack of light. Once the trap door was up, he jumped out lightly and held his arm down to help me up.

"This... This is Honeydukes!" I breathed, much more impressed than I would have been with, say the dragon I expected. "We're in Hogsmeade?"

"We sure are... Now- shall we, my lady?"

We went to get a drink in the Three Broomsticks, where Madame Rosmerta served us a midnight snack (even though our pockets were bursting with Honeyduke's best sweets) and free butterbeer. She said it was the least she could do. I imagined she was a bit happy that all four Marauders hadn't been brought along- to wreck havoc on her pub.

After an hour or so, James decided it would be best to go back to the castle- we were half way down the second-floor corridor, when we heard a loud shuffle and a voice croak, "Where are they, my sweet?"

James spun around, staring down the corridor. "Filch..." he muttered, taking my hand.

"And it's past midnight!" I said urgently, pulling him away from the sound of Filch's muttering.

"Run!" James whispered as a door at the opposite end of the corridor flew open.

We sprinted up two flights of stairs, behind three secret tapestries, and behind a hidden suit of armor, hoping to get away from the wheezing caretaker. "That bloody cat!" James muttered as we rounded a corner. "It's a curse to all of..."

"We've almost got them!" Filch wheezed from behind a cracked door to our left.

"Bloody hell!" James whispered, looking frantically over his shoulder. "Here!" He pulled me over to a door hidden in dark shadow- one I wouldn't have even known was there if he hadn't decided to drag me over to it. We squeezed into the tiny space- both thinking it must have been the smallest, darkest bloody closet in _all _of Hogwarts.

"Well... Maybe they went behind that tapestry of that fairy with gold hair, after all..." Filch muttered disappointedly. I put my ear to the door, listening. "We might still catch them..."

His rapid shuffling grew softer… and softer… Until the only sounds we could hear were each others rapid breathing.

"Think he's gone?" I whispered. But at the same moment, I heard a dull thud and James's muffled, "Ow! Bloody bucket... _right _in the way..."

"So that's a yes?" I muttered sarcastically.

"If he didn't hear that, he doesn't deserve to find us..." James said- I could practically _hear _him grinning. "But let's wait just another moment..."

I nodded and put my ear back to the door. Anything to ignore the fact that something (that something meaning James) extremely warm was pressed right up next to me... And that James took one of my curls playfully between his fingers.

"How do girls get their hair so soft?" he asked.

I laughed. "Some people do actually take care of their hair, you know." I felt him put one hand to his hair.

"I take care of mine!" he said defensively.

I reached up to touch his messy black hair. "I'm sorry. It's the best hair I've ever seen." I giggled.

He put his hands on my waist in response. "Lil- you're amazing." He bent down and kissed me softly on the forehead. "Really amazing."

* * *

As we walked into the warm common room, I looked sideways at him, smiling coyly. 

"Er- James? I've realized something." I laughed quietly.

James looked up curiously. "What's that?"

"We're Head Boy and Girl." I said seriously.

"Erm... yeah. We have been all year..." James said with a slight grin. "Are you feeling all right?" he said after a pause.

I laughed quietly. "We didn't have to hide from Filch- we could have said we were making our rounds." James's grin faded.

"I hadn't thought of that."

"What can I say? I'm the brilliant one." I teased. James rolled his eyes and, with maturity beyond his years, stuck out his tongue.

* * *

"James, I had a lot of fun tonight." I said, snuggling closer into his arms. He gave my hand a light squeeze. 

"Me too, Lil. Me too."

I smiled, thinking it had undoubtedly been the best six months of my life- I'd never been as happy as I was since I said yes to James.

"James, I… I love you." I said softly, making gentle circles on his hand with my thumb. He paused, then brought his hand to my face, turning it so that I had no choice but to look into his hazel eyes.

"I love you, too."

Our eyes stayed locked for one brief moment before we, at the same time, leaned in a bit towards each other…

And everything was right in the world.

_

* * *

_

I walked slowly down to the lake, watching the sun set in its streaks of fiery orange and yellow. I had homework- essays and reading for Potions and Transfiguration, but, as I liked to say, why should I do today what I can always put off until tomorrow?

I picked up that line off Sirius. Emma kept telling me that I was around the Marauders too much… I don't think so.

I paused under the shade off the Marauders favorite beech tree. I'd always loved to watch the way the sun sets over the lake…

"Hey, Lils."

I looked over my shoulder at the sound of James's voice. He smiled and sauntered up beside me. "Whatcha doin'?"

I gesture to the part of the lake where the light is reflected from the sun. "Isn't it beautiful?" I whisper.

He nodded and wrapped one arm around my waist. I put my hand on his and carefully set my head back into his shoulder. "Did I tell you about the letter I got from the Ministry?" I asked calmly and tried my best not to look too excited- even though I knew I was about to burst with happiness.

"No..." he said slowly.

I smiled. "You won't believe it..."

"I won't if you don't tell me," he teased, poking me gently in the side... Earning himself a jab in the ribs.

"I got accepted into the Department of Experimental Charms training program I wanted in." I said quietly.

James froze. "You got accepted!" I nodded. "That's good, Lil! I'll have to get the Marauders to help me help you celebrate."

"Erm... I _know_ how you boys _celebrate_- I'm not sure I want in on it!" I said playfully.

"Ah, fine. Don't let me have an excuse for fun. But I'm happy for you, really." He kissed my cheek.

I smiled. "What about you?" I asked.

"No, not yet." He definitely sounded a bit disappointed.

"You'll get it."

"Oh, I know I will sooner or later- but whether or not it's an acceptance or rejection letter is another thing."

"You'll be an auror, James. I have no doubt about it." I started rubbing circles with my thumb on his hand.

He smiled like he did when he didn't believe what I'm said, but was glad to hear it anyway. His eyes moved back out onto the lake, and he looked suddenly thoughtful, with a far-off look in his eyes. He stayed that way for a moment, then smiled slightly.

"You okay?" I ask.

"I'm fine... Ready to go back to the castle?" He asked, eyes sparkling.

* * *

"So, I've been thinking, Lil." James said unexpectedly, a few days later, as we were working on our homework. He tossed his quill back down on the table. 

"What about?"

"Us."

I looked up fearfully. 'Us' could only mean two things... Something really _bad_, or something really _good_. "Okay..."

"And since, you know, you're going to be in London, for your Charms training, and I'm going to be in London for my Auror training-"

"You got your letter?!" I cried.

"Yeah- today, but that isn't the point-"

"But- you got your letter! How can that not be important to you? I'm so happy, James! I told you you'd get it- if only you'd listened to me all along! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!" I said excitedly, sliding closer to him. "Congratulations," I hugged him.

"I know, I'm happy, and it is awesome- but-"

"Hey, Prongs." Peter threw himself into an armchair next to the fire.

"Back from your date?" James asked flatly.

"Yup." He grinned, a dreamy look on his face.

"Good, good... But I need to talk to Lily, could we have a moment?" James said with a hint of impatience, looking around the empty common room. The only other person was a tired looking first year, who, at the sound of James's voice, shuffled toward the boy's dormitories.

"Peter!"

"Oh, right..." he mumbled, picking himself up ff the chair.

"Prat..." James muttered, running a hand through his hair. "Anyway, what was I saying? Oh… Well, I was thinking that since we're both going to be staying in London, it would be pointless for us to be living apart- we're going to be heading off to the same place everyday, anyway- and this way, we could see each other more- that is, if you want to..." James said quickly. He stuttered a bit over his words, and kept running his hand through his hair... He was nervous.

Obviously, he'd put a lot of thought into this... I'd thought of the idea, entertained it briefly when James and I would talk about our futures. I knew deep down that I would like nothing better than to live with him while we did our Ministry training- I didn't want to be away from him, either. My parents probably wouldn't like the idea, but I was not their little girl anymore.

I watched as James fidgeted nervously with a piece of string from the couch, waiting with bated breath for my answer. I was quite enjoying seeing him a bit uncomfortable. "I think it's a great idea. I'd love it."

He stared at me uncertainly, then smiled in relief. "I love you."

"I love you more."

He grinned cheekily. "I love _you_ more."

"I love _you_ more!"

"_No_, I love _you_ more!"

* * *

A few weeks later, I sat up slowly in my four-poster, wondering what it was that woke me. Seeing nothing out of place, I threw back the scarlet covers and stretched my arms comfortably. I took a fresh change of clothes out of my trunk and tip-toed into the bathroom. 

There wasn't a need to be quiet, really, I was just used to it. James left early that morning to go to Hogsmeade- said he needed to take care of some things with the Marauders. So I slept in as late as I could.

And no, I didn't feel left out just because I hadn't been to any Hogsmeade visits without James since we'd been together... I thought it was perfectly fine that he wanted to be with his friends. Completely. Entirely. No problem at all.

Okay, maybe I did feel a bit left out- but it was only a bit! Or maybe more than a bit. All right, so maybe it was a lot- but what does that matter?

It's perfectly fine that I didn't want to spend the entire day alone. Emma went on a date, with Merlin knows who- she wouldn't even tell me.

After a quick shower, I walked back over to my four-poster, planning to pick up my room, then go down to the Great Hall for breakfast... That's when I noticed a folded slip of parchment on one of my pillows.

Lily- I'm sorry I couldn't go with you today- I wanted to, but the Marauders and I had to go look at some things today. I promise I'll make it up to you! I'll see you tonight. Love, James

I sighed. "Looks like it's just going to be me and my potions book all day." Great.

"Why didn't you go to Hogsmeade, Lil? It was a really nice day." Emma said happily, sliding into an armchair next to me.

Nice day, my arse!

I guess it was easy for someone to say that when they'd spent the entire day having fun in Hogsmeade, on a date... But for someone who had stayed in the Head Common Room all day, doing potions, it was quite the opposite.

"Hey, Lil. How was your day?" James said from somewhere behind me.

"Oh, it was wonderful." I said.

Emma sat back in her chair, watching me though narrowed eyes, smiling slightly. That was her 'thoughtful' face.

"I brought you something." He held out a large striped sack. I took it eagerly.

"Mm... Thanks, James." I said, pulling out a slab of my favorite chocolate flavor- cherry-vanilla. Yum.

"Thought you might like that." James grinned, sitting on the arm of my chair.

Emma laughed, and pushed herself out of her armchair. "I'll see you at dinner." Something in the tone of her voice told me quite clearly she knew I felt a bit left out.

* * *

"And then, she tried to blame it on _me_! It was so funny- you should've seen mum's face…" 

Emma laughed and pushed her Transfiguration book out of reach. "I'd forgotten we came in here to study..." she sighed.

"Aww- it can wait 'til another day!" I yawned, pulling out another box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans. I glanced up in time to see Emma give me a funny look. "What?" I asked defensively, setting the box back on the table.

"Lily Evans- we have had N.E.W.T's the last _two _days- we have them the rest of _this _week, and we have them four days _next _week! How can you possibly tell me it can wait to _another day_?"

I stared at her, quite taken aback. "Em- if we don't know it by now, I doubt we'll ever know it." I argued.

"We're graduating in a little over two weeks!" Emma said hysterically.

"And that's only more of a reason to not keep our noses stuck in some old, musty book!"

I laughed as Emma rolled her eyes impatiently.

"That boyfriend of yours has had too much influence on-"

Everyone looked up in surprise as a loud burst of excited yelling came from somewhere in the direction of the boy's dormitories. "Merlin, someone is happy." Emma said sarcastically.

I laughed quietly. The entire week, Emma had been in what I called her 'Ultimate Study Mode.' She had hardly had time for anything else. At first, it was a bit of a surprise to me, but I began to find it increasingly funny. I had always been more of the study type that Em- and she was always the type to try and find any excuse not to study at all. Especially during our O.W.L's.

Again, everyone looked up as loud footsteps sound on the stairs- someone running with the force of a rampaging hippogriff coming down from the boy's dormitory. We all watched expectantly, until the Marauders came into sight, grinning- and looking extremely proud of something or another.

"Too much bloody noise! Lily- you're Head Girl, can't you enforce a little quiet?" Emma said irritably, giving me a pointed look. I ignored her and plucked absently at the feathery part of my quill, just to have something to do. She watched me with a look disapproval for a moment before turning back to her book.

The Marauders made their way over to Emma and me, still smiling happily. "What are you all so happy about?" I yawned.

"What, can't a guy just be happy?" James grinned, pulling a chair next to mine.

"Hmm... _One _guy, yes. The four _Marauders_? That's just suspicious." I smirked at them over the top of my quill.

James laughed. "Wanna know what's really suspicious?"

"What's that?" I said with another yawn.

"Em is studying, you're not." He smiled innocently. "Anyway, the guys and I are going to go out for a bit... We'll be back before our duties tonight, I promise."

"Okay," I took the tip of the quill and dipped it in Emma's ink.

"I'll see you tonight, love." He leaned over and kissed me softly... Only to have it turn to a rather passionate- and _lengthy_ kiss.

He smiled as we pulled apart- leaving me quite breathless, Emma looking up in surprise, and the Marauders laughing at some unknown joke. And as for him? He grined arrogantly around the Common Room, of course.

"Mad…" Emma muttered. I smiled at her.

"Aren't we all?"

* * *

A few days later, I found myself walking up to Gryffindor Tower in search of James. Usually, we spent Saturdays with our respective friends, but that day, I just feel like being with him. There's no harm in that, is there? We did miss the last Hogsmeade visit together, after all. Besides, Sirius and Remus were in detention for 'disrupting dinner' and Peter was probably with his Hufflepuff girlfriend... Em was off studying _again_. 

"Raspberry Ice," I said clearly to the Fat Lady in her pink dress.

"Oh, Bree- _please_ tell me what's wrong!"

I glanced around as the portrait hole swung open. Kambrie Alex- a small first year- was sprawled out on one of the common room couches, sobbing. Her best friend, Nora Thomas- a petite girl with short, bleach-blonde hair and bright blue eyes- was kneeling by the couch, stroking Kambrie's long mass of black hair.

"Kambrie..." Nora sighs. "It's okay..."

I joined them at the couch and gave Nora a small smile. Her big eyes looked exhausted and red- she looked like she was ready to fall upon the couch and cry herself to sleep. Seeing the girls sad and tired was a rare thing for Hogwarts- most nights you could find the two lively first years telling funny stories by the fire, or pulling 'innocent' pranks on people in the halls. Rumor was that the two could even rival the Marauders. Of course, the four seventh year boys found the idea extremely funny- they would laugh until they had tears in their eyes just at the thought.

I slid onto the couch next to Kambrie. "Kambrie, dear, it's okay... Don't cry..." I said quietly, pulling her into my lap. Nora smiled gratefully and sat back on her heels.

Kambrie sniffed loudly and looked up slowly at me. Her normally bright, sparkling gray eyes were dark and sad. She wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand and took a deep breath. She opened her mouth to say something, but once again dissolved into tears.

Nora sighed and frowned. "She keeps doing that," she mouthed.

I nodded and pulled out my wand. Conjuring up a large mug of hot tea, I pulled Kambrie into a sitting position next to me. "Here, drink this, Bree..." I handed it to her. She nodded and took a tiny sip, tears still falling freely down her cheeks.

"A letter came earlier for her... It was horrible looking, Lily." Nora said sadly.

"It's... there..." Kambrie whimpered, gesturing towards a dark envelope on the floor. Nora picked it up slowly, pulling out an even darker slip of parchment with a short paragraph written in spiky letters of silver ink.

I watched as Nora read the letter quickly, then looked up fearfully at Kambrie, her eyes full of tears. "Bree..." she whispered, looking very pale.

Feeling a fresh wave of tears coming, I took the empty mug and set it on a nearby table. Nora turned her worried eyes to me, mouth wide open. "_Vold_... He-who-must-not-be-named...killed ... all of- Kambrie's _family_…"

I felt a horrible sinking in the pit of my stomach. Why Kambrie?

I heard someone take a deep breath, like they were sighing, but I didnt open my eyes to see who. I thought it was probably Emma- she had a habit of leaving her dormitory and coming up to my room. She said my mattress was fluffier than hers. Heh, guess that's what I got for always telling her the new passwords.

But one single ray of light was shining right on my face.

I left my eyes closed and tried to stretch out my legs, like I did every morning... But something stopped me... Something under my legs...

I opened my eyes, thinking I must have fallen asleep on the common room couch the night before, with Kambrie... She cried herself to sleep in my arms. But she was at my feet, on the other end of the couch, and me? I was laying on James Potter's _legs_… And he was smiling at me. "What are you smiling about?" I said groggily, closing my eyes again and snuggling closer to him.

"You're beautiful when you're sleeping." He chuckled. I opened my eyes again and gave him a questioning look. "You fell asleep last night here, with Kambrie before I came back down from the Marauders dorm. I was going to wait here until you woke up, but I guess you never did... And I fell asleep, I suppose..." he said with a grin.

"Who opened that bloody window?" I groaned, putting my hand up to block the light. "And it's only shining on me..." I muttered.

"Not much telling..."

"Well, come on. Will you help me take her up to her bed?" I asked, getting to my feet and stretching properly.

"Anything for my Lily, no?"

"Anything at all."

* * *

"Are your parents here yet?" James asked. 

I looked up at him with a sad smile. "They aren't coming."

"But- I thought-"

"I know- me too. They wanted to, but they can't make it..."

"I'm sorry, Lil..." His hand found mine.

I did want my parents to see me graduate. Well, really, at Hogwarts, there isn't a graduating ceremony, like muggles have, there is just a feast. But I'd still always dreamed of this day. Now that it was there, I was a bit disappointed.

I looked around the crowd, watching the people I'd spent the last seven years of my life with. Everyone was smiling- congratulating each other. I pulled my wizards hat back onto my head, trying to smile.

"James?"

James and I turned our heads to look at a tall witch with short brown hair. "Mum!" he smiled. She wrapped her arms around him, giving him a warm hug. I tried to slip away, not wanting to interrupt the 'family moment' but James reached out and took my hand, pulling me back over to his mother, as an even taller man with dark, messy hair just like James's walked up behind her. "Dad!" So that's where he got the messy hair.

James and Mr. Potter's faces cracked into identical lopsided grins. Guess that's where he got that, too.

"Mum, dad, this is my girlfriend, Lily. Lil- this is my mum and dad."

"Nice to meet you," I said nervously.

"You too, dear. We've already heard much about you." Mrs. Potter said with a smile. I shot an uneasy glance in James's direction.

"_Good_ things, Lil." He laughed.

"So, James, how are things going?" Mrs. Potter asked pointedly. James's cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he looked quickly at me.

"Pretty good."

Watching the looks James and his father were exchanging, I couldn't help but feelleft out... So I turned my attention to the front of the hall, where Professor Dumbledore had just joined the other professors at the table.

"Are you going to..." Mr. Potter began, but trailed off, as he too noticed the Headmaster waiting for silence.

I saw James nod quickly. Professor Dumbledore held up his hands to the crowd across the hall. "May I have your attention please." It wasn't a question.

_"Did you see that?!" _

_"Wow! What a way to start the term! That was brilliant- wish we'd thought of it!" _

_"Lily- are you all right?"_

_I slowly turned my eyes to my friend, Emma Morgan. "Em... What just happened?" I asked in a frightened voice. _

_"You fell out- and something long and gray pushed you back in!" Emma said breathlessly._

_"It happens ev'ry now 'n then, little miss. I's nothin' to worry 'bout!" the tall man named Hagrid called over his shoulder from the boat in front of us._

_"It was weird!" Emma said._

_"It was cool!" _

_Emma and I turned to look at the two boys behind us. They had followed us into our boat. One had long, dark hair that fell into his dark gray eyes... He's the one that had the nerve to call me 'Red' on the train that afternoon. The other boy- the one that helped me get my trunk onto the train- had black hair that stuck up in just about every direction and hazel eyes that were twinkling at me. _

_"How'd you do that?" he asked incredulously._

_I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Er... why would anyone want to fall into a lake? It's a bit chilly- do you fancy riding boats while you're soaked in cold water?" _

_The messy haired boy stared at me, his face blank. "You are." He said simply after some time. The boy next to him snickered._

_I frowned at the pair of them, unsure of how to treat this kind of behavior. "I don't know how I did it- I guess I just fell out when I was looking at the castle."_

_He nodded. "I didn't introduce myself on the train, did I? I'm James. James Potter." He said, holding out his hand._

_I took it suspiciously. "Lily Evans."_

_"Charmed." He said without taking his eyes off mine... Or moving his hand. I tried to pull my hand back, but he tightened his grip. "Absolutely charmed." _

_"I'm sure you are." I said bravely, staring right back._

_He grinned and tilted his head to the side a bit... Still having a firm hold on my hand. _

_"I'm Sirius Black!" said the other boy. He was grinning, looking between James and me. He shared a knowing look with James, whose grin widened. I sighed and turned with pleading eyes to Emma- to find her smiling mischievously, too._

_He still had my hand in his._

Everyone in the hall clapped as Dumbledore took his seat again. I sighed and leaned back a bit in my seat. Finally… I admired the headmaster, I really did, but sometimes, it's best just to sit down and shut up, to put it bluntly. At the Graduating Feast every year, several people made speeches- Dumbledore, the Heads of House, the Head Boy and Girl... But when the headmaster got up there and blubbered for five minutes straight, I found it a bit hard to pay much attention. Of course, since it wa professor Dumbledore, everyone was actually trying to listen- but it was just hard to, sometimes. At least he was the last one to do his speech.

I looked over at James as we made our way down from the Platform at the front of the Hall, towards our table. As I watched him, he looked up at Sirius and Remus and grinned. Halfway to our table, he put his hand on my arm, pulling me to a stop.

"Let's go for a walk, Lil... Please?" he put out his bottom lip in a pleading way. Sometimes he could be too bloody adorable.

"Sure,"

Emma smiled at me as we got nearer to the door. "Your speech was great, Lil!" she called.

"Thanks, Em."

James reached over for my hand, entwining his fingers with mine... Trying to pull the attention back on himself.

"They're perfect for each other..." We heard Emma sigh. Mrs. Potter beamed at us.

I looked back over my shoulder and smile. "So we've been told..." James chuckled.

"I don't mind." I said softly as we walked out into a large garden with live fairies lighting the walkways. James smiled at me over the top of his glasses, and began to fumbe with something in the pocket of his dress robes.

"Do you remember the first time I asked you to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

I laughed. "Of course I do. It was just after your first Quidditch game. All the Gryffindors ran down on the pitch- and you came and found me."

James nodded. "I'd been planning to ask you for ages- I figured that after the game was the best time... and I wanted to ask you before I changed my mind. I've never known a girl like you, Lily. No one has ever been able to make me speechless- no one has ever made me as nervous as you do... I could never love anyone like I love you." He paused and kicked at the small rose bush in front of him. He stared at it and took a shaky breath before continuing. "And that day- in first year, after that Quidditch match, I was so nervous... Well, today is no different- except that it's seven years later- we've practically graduated now, and it isn't a date I want to ask you about..." Slowly, he turnd his beautiful hazel eyes to mine. I watched him with bated breath as he put his hands over mine. "Lily, I love you- more than you'll ever know- if you ever do one thing- just one thing for me, let it be this... Will you marry me?"

I wiped the tears from my cheeks- and realized for the first time that a small black box was waiting, open, in his hands... And he was on one knee.

"James, I..." But I was unable to go on. I looked into James's eyes... And he knew.

seewe'd 


	3. 3 My Dearest Lily

Hey, just so everyone knows- I put a chapter in before this one- this is the one I had put up a long time ago.. So chapter two is the new one, this isn't. Just thought you'd all like to know that before you read it and thought it was familiar!

* * *

Tuesday, December 26th 

My dearest Lily,

Today, I finished reading the diary you wrote me… And I can't tell you how much I love it. I couldn't have asked for a better gift- it's perfect.

I knew the moment I read the last word that I was going to write to you in a dia- well, a journal also (I can't write in a diary, how manly would that be?). I love knowing that I can look into the little black book and read and hear your thoughts… I thought maybe you'd like the same thing someday. I don't know when exactly I'll give this to you; I just know that I will.

I remember several times when I saw you writing in that book- and every time I did, I wanted to know what it was… But the most you would ever say about it was, "You'll see… someday." Do you even know how curious that made me? But I am glad that I had to wait- it was definitely worth it.

You know, one entry out of the entire book stood out to me… It's definitely my favourite. On Friday, October 13th, you told me how you had a terrible day- everything went wrong for you… You got up latecouldn't find any bacon, got extra homework… Yet you were in a good mood- all because I complimented you. We were sitting in our Common Room together on the couch when I read that page… And it only made me love you more. I watched you for a while, as you wrote a letter to your family. Every now and then, you stopped and bit on the end of your quill, like you were deciding what to write next. When you finally looked up and saw me staring, you smiled that beautiful smile of yours and looked down at the black book in my hands. I think you liked to know that I was reading it, because you positively beamed at me.

I still find it hard to believe we're together- not that it seems utterly impossible to me, it's just that I can't believe I have you. Does that make sense? I guess it's just because I've liked you since the moment I first laid eyes on you… But I knew I could never have a chance.

Do you know that I was almost too afraid to ask you to the Halloween Ball two months ago? I can't tell you now how glad I am… I thought I was dreaming when you really said yes- it even took a few moments for it all to sink in… Then all Heaven opened before me- Lily Evans had said yes! I remember my friends saying what a 'miracle' it was when I actually managed to get six detentions that week… Mainly from McGonagall and Murdoc, of course. I don't think either professor has ever really taken too well to me… Or so they say. I bet they both think I'm one of their top students- they just don't want to admit it.

Did I mention how good you look with that green streak in your hair? I think it was a nice Christmas gift from Sirius! It took him a lot of thought, too, and he didn't even ask me for help! Not that I would have approved him giving you extra 'Christmas Cheer' (As he calls it,) while you were sleeping. I'm just saying it looks really nice…

And his silver hair? Classic. That was a really nice charm you did.

I'm going to have to write a long letter to my parents, since I forgot to do it yesterday- it is Christmas, after all. But I promise I'll write back at my next chance…

Love,

James

* * *

Saturday, December 30th 

Dear Lily,

Hasn't this holiday been fun? I didn't think we were going to have much snow, but on Christmas morning, we woke up and it was quite thick! We've been out in it everyday since. The other Maruaders and I were going to pull a few pranks on Snape, but you wouldn't let us. Do you even know how good you are? Not a bad kind of good- I mean you make me wish I was more like you. I want to change for you. So I made the boys stop- even if it wasn't anything that was going to leave a mark, or anything… For long.

Everyone is coming back tomorrow- then classes start on Monday. Every year, I wish the holiday was just a bit longer… But you know, I guess it's plenty long… Even if I am getting used to staying up late with you in the Common Room, then getting up early again to see you for breakfast. I'm starting to get dark circles under my eyes, but that doesn't matter… I'm with you. Sirius says I'm getting too girly. If I was too girly, would I be with a girl, though? I don't think so. He just doesn't understand- he's never had a girl longer than three days, I don't think. I've always kind of wondered if he was capable of having a girlfriend for more than a week without losing interest. He claims he gets 'bored' with most girls.

Of course I remember the first day we met! My mum was about to leave me at the barrier, when this 'pretty girl with red hair came up asked us how to get onto the platform.' (That's how she described you to my dad later.) 'I felt so sorry for her- she must have been muggle-born, because there wasn't anybody with her… She was shaking so bad when she asked us, I almost gave her a hug,' (Yeah, don't ask me, it is my mum I'm talking about- she's a real nut sometimes.) Anyway, I was speechless when I saw you… I think the very first thing I noticed about you were your eyes. I don't think I've ever seen eyes so bright. You smiled at us and I knew I was already lost. Mum knew I had a thing for you right off; I could tell by the way she was smirking at me. You know that knowing grin your parents give you sometimes? The one that tells you they are reading you like an open book? Well, that was the look I was getting when I hurried onto that platform. I couldn't find you in the crowd, so I set off, looking in every compartment… Then, in one of the last ones, I found you- you looked so adorable… You couldn't get your trunk through the door, because of the step. But then that trunk is at least twice your size- I don't know how you don't ever get lost in it, just trying to pack.

We got our trunks onto the train- and found a compartment together. I could've sworn I heard angels singing when you asked if you could sit with me. I was just about to ask you the same thing, yet I was happy that you asked me first. We were actually getting on pretty well… Until Sirius had to walk in.

He grinned at me the second he stepped over the threshold of the compartment and I knew he was going to mess something up for me. And he did.

He called you 'Red'… then wanted to know what he'd done wrong. I was in the process of strangling him when I realized you'd left. He did _not _have a fun trip to Hogwarts that year.

Right, well, I think I'd better go to bed, as it's almost midnight and I tucked you in nearly an hour ago…

Night love,

James

* * *

Tuesday, January 9th 

Lily,

Today, you got a letter from your family… And it wasn't the happiest news. Not that anyone is hurt, they're all just fine… But since Petunia has been engaged for two months now, she feels it's 'high time to get married' as she wrote it. Her and that… Vernon… _beef_. That's our nickname for him. You described him to me- and I don't like the sound of him at all… I only hope he and Petunia go far, far away when they get married. I don't even see why they are getting married, they only met last May! That isn't even a year… And her wedding is in two weeks.

At least your parents said you didn't have to go since you're in school… I don't think I could handle having you gone, even for just a day.

Sirius is leaning over my shoulder, reading what I'm writing. He says I've gone all mushy… Which is fine, because at least I have a girl.

Oops… He read that too. I think I'd better go, before he blows this up, or something…

Love,

James

* * *

Thursday, January 25th 

Lily dear,

Three months. Three months! Can you believe it's only been three months? I can't. It seems like we've been together forever.

Today, we snuck out to Hogsmeade… It was fun. We went to the Three Broomsticks, where you nearly had a heart attack because you thought we'd get in trouble. But you shouldn't worry, I love you too much to get you caught.

Today was also the first time you told me you loved me.

I know you wrote in the book and everything, but it still felt good just to hear it. I can't explain the feeling I got when you said those three little words. My heart nearly exploded, I felt light-headed, my knees grew weak, and I almost fainted. All in a good way, of course.

But I'm going to call it an early night, just so I can see if I'm already dreaming. If I fall asleep now, I could be falling asleep in my dream, so the only way to know if I'm dreaming right now is to 'fall asleep' and wait until morning… Then I'll know.

Hmm… I'm not making much sense… But can you blame me?

LILY EVANS TOLD ME SHE LOVES ME!!!!

Sorry, I just had to get that out…

Goodnight Lily-Flower, I love you,

James Potter

* * *

Wednesday, January 31st 

My dearest Lily,

It fully dawned on me today how close the day is that we graduate. We only have a few months left- can you believe it? A little under five months, to be exact. I really can't see myself away from Hogwarts. I love everything about school here. Except perhaps the Slytherins, but I don't think I need to go into detail.

I know I'll miss no having you to wake me up almost every morning, especially when you wake me up with a kiss. That is the best way to wake up, you know.

I'll miss eating breakfast every morning with you. I love it when someone gets the last of the bacon before you do, so you steal it off their plate… I love to hear you laugh when Sirius does something completely stupid.

I'll miss walking you to class, sometimes carrying your books, then sitting with you. Have you ever noticed that our schedules are the exact same? It's because way back at the end of second year, I sort of… _borrowed_ your schedule plans from McGonagall so we'd have the same classes… Funny what a person will do for love.

I'll miss cuddling with you while we do our homework, or just laze about after our lessons until dinner. I truly love that warm, comfortable feeling I get when you're tucked safely in my arms.

I'll miss tucking you into bed every night, with a kiss.

I'll miss hearing you say 'I love you' just before you shut your eyes and drift away into sweet dreams… Hopefully ones about me.

I'll miss the Prefect meetings that we have every Tuesday with all the Prefects. You're usually the one who deals with all the 'business', so I just sit back and watch you.

I'll miss that look you get when you're really into what you're saying; you get a sparkle in your eyes and your cheeks get flushed…

So really, I guess that when I say I'll miss everything about Hogwarts, I mean that I'll miss _you_. You are my everything, Hogwarts or not.

What do you think will happen to us after we graduate? I have no doubt you'll get accepted into any of the ministry positions you want… You've always been brilliant, and you always will be.

I hope to get into Auror training- do you think I will?

The only thing I really know is that I want to still be with you after we graduate. Maybe we can get an apartment in London together, so we can be near the Ministry and still be together.

I can hear the Marauders in our Common Room right now… I'd better go stop them from making a mess.

Love,

James

* * *

Thursday, February 22nd 

Dear Lily,

Everyday that I spend with you just convinces me more how deeply in lov

Merlin, Prongs! What has gotten into you? Oh- Lily, I love you! Oh, Lily, take me I'm yours! Oh, Lily, I want you! Oh, Lily, I dream about you! Oh, Lily, come away with me! We can fly away after the next Quidditch match! Oh, Lily, why are you so beautiful.

Honestly, mate, she's going to get light headed reading all this sentimental mush.

Oh, Remus, go bite yourself… Lily, I want to spend the rest of my life with you! All right, I give up. Oi, James! Just so you know when you read this, Moony and I used a permanent sticking charm on here! Courtesy of everyone's favourite Marauders… Happy Birthday, mate!

Padfoot, you arse, it's _Wormtail's _birthday… And don't think in terms of permanent… Think long lasting!

Sincerely, with all our love,

The Marauders

Minus James…

And Peter!

Ahh… Lily, I am so sorry! Those two can be such prats. And they really did use a permanent sticking charm… I tried to rip out the page, but it wouldn't budge. I was polishing my broom when they 'ambushed' me and locked me in my own closet for _an hour_. Like I said, they're such prats. Well, I'm going to hunt them down and try out a few… _charms_ I saw a Slytherin use a few days ago…

James

* * *

Monday, March 5th 

Dear Lily,

Today, we had our first fight. I don't like it at all. Really, what we're fighting about doesn't have anything to do with either of us… Not directly, at least.

You asked me where it is that Remus goes every month and I couldn't tell you. I'm so sorry, love. I do want to tell you, but it isn't my place to tell anyone, even you, unless Remus consents first. But don't worry, I think he will before long.

I know you know that Sirius, Peter, and I go somewhere every month at the same time Remus does, even though I've tried telling you we just need a 'Boys night'. You're too smart for that though. I do hate keeping anything from you… You have no idea how much I hate it.

I know it isn't going to help, me writing in here when I don't even know when I'm going to give it to you, but I just felt like I should explain what I can _somewhere_.

We got a rather nasty essay today on Goblin Enslavement, so I'd best get started on it before I forget. Sweet dreams, love.

I really am sorry,

James

* * *

Wednesday, March 7th 

Dear Lily,

You can't even imagine how happy I am that you're not mad at me anymore. Well, you weren't really mad, you just didn't understand.

Today, Remus drug us all the way up to Gryffindor Tower after History of Magic and explained everything. Even though we missed Transfiguration, it made us all three of us feel better, I think.

And it really made him feel good that you cried when he told you about being a werewolf. Not that he was happy to see you cry, it's just now he knows you don't despise him or hate him now that you know the truth. But it was also hard for him to tell you it all… I realized for the first time today that he's never actually said it. That he's a werewolf. I don't think the rest of us have, either… Until now.

But he didn't tell you everything; he left some of it to me… And I wanted to write some of it out here first, so I don't say something wrong later, when I tell you.

Sirius, Peter, and I are all unregistered animagi. When we found out about Remus's condition back in third year, (Not that he told us, mind you, we had to figure it out ourselves.) we swore we wouldn't let him go through all that alone every month. We tried just about every spell and charm we could think of to help him, but nothing worked. Then Peter stumbled upon a useful little piece of information (Literally, stumbled- he tripped over a book and it fell open, right on the page we needed. It was real magic, I think.). Anytime a human is in the presence of a werewolf in his wolf form, it… well, I'm sure you know the stories… But a werewolf can be around other animals, including animagi. It took nearly two years for all three of us to master it. Peter had to have all the help he could get… Sirius is Padfoot because he's a dog, Peter is Wormtail because he's a rat, I'm Prongs- a stag, and Remus is Moony… a werewolf.

Remus was very anxious the first few times we went with him. He was always worried that we'd get caught and sent to Azkaban, or something like that, or Dumbledore would find out that he let three of his friends become animagi to help him. I think that's what he was the most worried about, disappointing Dumbledore. But then we would start planning our next months adventure… We started feeling safe enough to take him out of the Shrieking Shack, taking him farther and farther away from it… Until we knew the area well around Hogwarts.

It was then that we decided we needed a name. And it came to us: The Marauders. It fit perfectly and we all loved it. As Marauders, we felt we should live up to our name. Since I had my invisibility cloak, we started sneaking out almost every night, wandering around the castle. We found every secret passage, every shortcut, every secret room around the place… And were able to make 'The Marauders Map', a very useful marauding tool… It shows anyone and everyone anywhere near Hogwarts at anytime.

We've been through a lot since that day that we found out about Remus's problem… We will always be there for each other- especially Remus. So every month, we help him in the only way we know how… We go with him.

Thank you for understanding,

James

* * *

Monday, March 19th 

Morning, love! It's a beautiful day outside- the birds are singing… Flowers are blooming- or will be soon.

Spring has always been my favourite season. Well, after winter. I love snow. And I guess I like fall, too. Summer is all right… But I'm not one for hot weather- though I do like being out of school. Okay, so maybe spring isn't my favourite- but it's one of them!

Or I did like being of school for summer… But we won't ever have another summer holiday, will we, love?

That thought terrifies me.

Sirius just walked in and wants to know if I am 'really writing in that book again'. Well, I'm writing in something in any case.

He says I might as well write you a novel and get it published. Ha.

Argh- he's going through my room again- he doesn't believe me when I say that my stuff doesn't change around between his visits. I'd better go stop him before he breaks something.

Love,

James

* * *

Wednesday, April 11th 

Lily,

Today was just a good day. Dumbledore decided it would be a good day not to have any classes, I guess. Only Merlin knows why. Dumbledore just gets mad ideas like that sometimes, maybe.

And everyone does, to some degree don't they? Yes, they do. Well, I do at least… If I didn't, I wouldn't have ever asked to the Halloween Ball and where would we be right now? There's no telling. But I am glad that everyone gets their 'mad ideas'.

Lunch was especially good for some reason… Maybe it was because I could smell your hair next to me… Hmm.. I don't even remember what I ate, come to think of it…

A bunch of us went out and played Quidditch for a while. I was a bit disappointed when you didn't want to go outside. I wasn't really very much into the game, so I left to find you…

How did you like your first ride on a broom with James Potter? Your face when we first took off was priceless… But I wouldn't have let you go for anything. The more we flew, the more you liked it, I think.

We ate dinner in the kitchens, with the Marauders. Don't you love to watch the house-elves when they dance? It was funny- I've never seen them do that in all seven years I've gone there…

Sirius seemed a bit in awe when they started singing, I wonder if he is still there in the kitchens where we left him?

I haven't seen him in quite a while… Maybe I should go check?

It's only two weeks until our six month anniversary…

Love,

James

* * *

Wednesday, April 25th 

My dearest Lily,

Half a year. It might as well have been ten years, for all the attention I paid… All that I care about is that I'm with you. Can you believe it's been six months? You're right… Time does fly by when you're in love.

I hope you like the roses I sent you today, too…

25 flowers; the 25th day the date of our anniversary.

7 yellow roses; one for every year I've known you.

6 White roses; one for every year of hard work it took to get you.

6 Pink roses; one for every month we've been together.

3 roses; just because I love you and I love to say it.

1 Red rose; you're the only one for me. I love you.

1 More red rose because you only get one chance at life and I want to spend mine with you.

1 Lily; roses are beautiful, but lilies are more special… They are one of a kind. Just like you, love.

Sweet dreams, my Lily,

James

* * *

Saturday, May 5th 

Dear Lily,

Wow… We won the Quidditch Cup.

It was a fierce game, I'll admit- and it was close. Fifteen minutes into the game and Gryffindor was only up by ten points- I was trying to get the quaffle from Lymon, Keyes and Pritchard were after the Snitch, the crowd was going wild…

Kiaya Morgan sent one of the bludgers at Lymon, who dropped the quaffle… I caught it, just as the entire crowd gasped. Jo Keyes (of Gryffindor,) had her hand stretched out toward the snitch… I speed off for our goalposts, hoping to score once more before she caught it. As I sped by, I looked into the stands and saw you cheering, your eyes glued to me. I smiled…

And scored for you, just before Keyes caught the snitch.

Gryffindor won, 310-140.

This morning, at breakfast, you came and found a seat next to me. You told me to win for you… And I did. But you also told me- in front of everyone- that you loved me. It made me feel so good, there was no way I could _not _win. Then you told the team good luck. I think we won because of those two simple words.

There's still a party going on in Gryffindor Common Room- I guess we'd best go break it up; tell them to go to bed before McGonagall gets to them…

Love,

James

* * *

Tuesday, May 22nd 

Lily,

We only have one month left. One month!

I've been thinking over the last few days and I've decided something. I'm going to ask you to marry me.

We've already talked about getting a flat somewhere in London, so why not get married? I love you more than you can ever know and you love me, so why can't we? I know it's only been seven months, but I know a lot of people who got married sooner than that! I haven't said anything to anyone yet, but I definitely think I will ask you. If I don't back out first… I'm already feeling nervous, just at the thought… I might go to Hogsmeade soon and look at rings… Just to get an idea.

I know it's awfully short, but I'm going to stop here…

I love you…

James

* * *

Saturday, June 2nd 

My dearest Lily,

Well, I went and looked at engagement rings in Hogsmeade today. They had two that really made me think of you. At least I have some idea of what I'm going to buy when I do…

I also got the letter from my parents today. I sent them an owl on Monday, asking what they thought of the idea and they love it. I kind of thought they might be a bit anxious about it, but they seem excited… I've already told them all about you. They can't wait to meet you. Mum told me to pick the biggest ring I can find… I don't think you'd like a big ring though, it just doesn't seem like you.

Hopefully mum was joking.

Next, I plan to tell the Marauders… I wonder what their reactions will be…

No, I wonder what your reaction will be. A good one, maybe?

Well, if I plan on doing anything, I'd better get to bed…

Night, love,

James

* * *

Wednesday, June 6th 

Lily,

I told the Marauders that I want to ask you to marry me. They all looked shocked for a moment, then they all grinned.

"We wondered how long it would take you!" Sirius said. Trust him to say something like that. It gave me the impression that they talk about me all the time, now.

I'm still feeling nervous, but since I looked at rings, it makes me want to ask you more than ever. Hope I have the nerve to do it. I might end up fainting in your arms like a little girl. Who knows.

Speaking of fainting… I'm exhausted. It's been a long day. A good one, of course, but a long one…

Goodnight, love…

James

* * *

Thursday, June 14th 

Dear Lily,

I'm going to do it this Saturday… I'm positively terrified, but I'm going to do it.

I was having my doubts, until last night. I was going up to see the Marauders in the Tower, when I saw you with that little first year, Kambrie Alex. She was crying again… I didn't want to interrupt and ask why, so I gave you a smile and ran upstairs.

When I came back downstairs, the two of you looked so sweet; you were still on the same couch, curled up together, asleep. Your arms were wrapped protectively around her and she had her head resting on your shoulder. I felt my heart give an almighty wrench when I saw that you had tears on your cheeks, too. I wanted to wrap my arms around you and never let you go when I saw them… I never want to see you cry… That's what made up my mind. Seeing your tears… Seeing you sad. I know I'll take care of you, I won't let you cry.

Except for happy tears. Happy tears are good.

I slid onto the couch beside you and waited…

I guess I fell asleep there, because the next thing I knew, you were laying on my shoulder, one arm wrapped around me, and there was a little light outside the window. Kambrie was curled up in the other corner of the couch.

I watched you sleep for a while, admiring those little freckles on your nose, and the beautiful colour of your hair, when you opened your eyes and smiled at me. That's when I knew I was going to ask you. Yeah, I know I said it was when I saw your tears, but it was then, too.

I carried Kambrie up to her dorm and we left for our Tower.

I found out why the two of you were crying. Kambrie's family- her parents and little eight year old twins sisters- were killed in Voldemort's latest series of attacks. Her parents were refusing to go over to the dark side, so he just killed them all… Isn't that horrible? Kambrie is only eleven… And she has no family left, because of some stupid wizard who went mad. It's things like that that make me want more than ever to be an auror.

Where we fell asleep again on the couch. Well, you fell asleep. I'm writing to you in here, of course, but then I'll probably go to sleep…

Okay, yeah, I'm getting tired just thinking of it… So I'll write more when I can…

Love,

James

P.S. Haven't the N.E.W.T.'s been horrible? Well, they're not as bad as I imagined they would be, but still! I hope I got all O's… I did on my O.W.L.s and I didn't expect to, so maybe I'll get lucky again… Who knows…

* * *

Saturday, June 16th 

Dear Lily,

That's it! I bought it! You're going to love it, I know you are. It isn't big and showy, it's just perfect for you… It's a neat little sliver band, with a diamond in the middle, and the tiniest of pearls, one on each side, and a small cluster of diamonds around them. I'm not very good at describing jewellery, as the most I've ever owned was a watch, but it really is beautiful. Like you.

I had to go to Dumbledore to ask his permission to go to Hogsmeade. I wasn't going to ask, I was just going to use my invisibility cloak or a passage, but I figured that on something this important, I didn't need to risk my chance of not getting the ring. So I went to him and told him I wanted to marry you. He was very happy for us… Then again, I think he already knew what I was up to- he seems to know everything that goes on in the castle, whether we want him to or not. Well, mostly everything.

So, I have exactly six days to work up my courage… I hope you say yes. You will, won't you? If you don't, I don't know what I'll do… But I'm not going to think like that right now…

Because I'm tired. But I'll write back at my next chance.

Love,

James

* * *

Wednesday, June 20th 

Lily,

Am I doing the right thing? I only have a few days left to decide… I want to ask you, but what if you want to wait? Oh, I'm going crazy…

Soooo crazy.

Remus spent an hour in here earlier, trying to tell me it's the right thing and that I love you, so should act like the 'big bad Gryffindor' that I really am and get it over with… I couldn't agree more.

But it's easier said than done.

He should ask someone to marry _him _and see what it's like.

Well, I'm so tired I think I'm about to faint on you next to me (We're sitting in the Common Room,) so I think I'll put everything away and go to bed…

Love,

James

* * *

Friday, June 22nd 

My dearest Lily,

I only hope I don't change my mind later… I'm scared out of my wits… I got my dress robes ready this morning, so that they won't be wrinkled and I'm actually going to try and fix my hair… I've had the ring in my pocket all day, checking every few minutes to be sure that it's still there. We spent the entire day, by the lake… Then, at five, you said you needed to go up to your room to get ready.

I need time to get ready, too. Well, actually, it'll only take me a few minutes to get my robes on, but I've got to try to calm down…

Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, please say yes…

Okay, that doesn't help. I've got to go find the Marauders… Maybe they can help distract me for a bit? I sure hope so. If not, I might just run up to your room right now and beg you to marry me.

I'm not very good under pressure.

More later,

James

* * *

Friday, June 22nd… Again… 

Lily,

This is it! I can't believe I'm really going to do this… Well, yes I can. I love you. I love you a lot, actually… So I'm going to ask you to marry me right after we graduate… I've got it all planned out in my head how it will go… But I'll probably forget it all when I see you. I'm supposed to meet you in our Common Room in about ten minutes… I'm sitting in the Marauders dorm right now… Trying to work up some more courage. I keep thinking everything will go wrong… I'll trip, or forget the ring, or it won't be in it's box, or I won't graduate, or I'll get a sudden cold and sneeze on you when I'm asking…

Hopefully none of that will happen, though…

Ahh… if I don't go now, I won't have time to go all the way up to my room and get my dress robes on before I take you downstairs…For our last feast at Hogwarts.

So I'm going to go, now…

I love you, Lily Evans…

PLEASE MARRY ME?!

James

A/N: Okay... I need more reviews! And this time, I want to know what you think of another chapter? Maybe Lily writes to him while they're engaged- up until their wedding.. I don't know... Opinions? Flames? Any reaction at all?


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